Suffering does not build character

This 2017 article in Gal-Dem on self-care, was mostly a positive read, but something really jarred me: the line that read, “The oppression that we face builds character.”

NOPE

The oppression we face as bisexual people of colour, builds the likelihood of mental distress, anxiety, alienation and depression.  It is no wonder that bisexuals of all ethnicities are more likely to be suicidal, self-harm and/or abuse alcohol, cigarettes and drugs more than either straight or gay and lesbian people. (Source: The Bisexuality Report, Open University, 2012).  Add to that the racism bisexuals of colour face on top of all of this from white members of the LGBT+ and straight communities, and it’s not a recipe for building character at all (Source: Bi’s of Colour report, 2015)

The myth that suffering builds resilience is common, especially when aimed at women and femmes of colour.  Sure we have to go through many things that others don’t, but it wears us down in a way that’s terrible and often invisible.  What is worse, we are expected to see it as part of our daily lives.  The world is a cruel place for bisexuals of colour.  Don’t make it harder by putting the expectation of suffering on our shoulders as well.

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