A guest post from N. Gupta
I have basically a 99% hard limit re ‘no white people as lovers/play partners/fuckbuddies.
Because I am done showing/sharing my skin and body with people who have no clue what their white skin means.
And no investment in learning *to the level that I need for any encounter to be remotely good/pleaseuable for me*
if im ever gonna have that intimacy again
and tbh it feels unlikely and I go back and forth on how i feel about that
i am prirotising black and brown bodies like AND unlike mine:
– trans, gender non conforming, bi, crip, mad, working/mixed class, immigrant bodies, goddess/magic/witchy bodies.
Bodies that contain multitudes and borders.
Bodies that get stopped and searched at borders and on the street.
Me, reading this back. OH. Right. Yes!
with endless thanks to Rhizome Syndrigast Coelacanth Flourishing whose writing and making and thinking and feeling and re-imagining have been so inmportant to me in last couple years Love and solidarty to u, mate xx
It’s a 99% limit because someone being BIPoC doesn’t guarantee a connection. or that they won’t be shit to me, or me to them.
I donn’t get to ‘disappear’ into that world coz it’s not magically free of transphobic, biphobic, ableist, classist, sanist, capitalist, racist, liberal, faily etc bulllshit.
And if someone is qtibpoc but is that more comfortable hanging on to instead of challenging that stuff, our skin doesn’t make us kin.
And coz if you wanna be my lover .. you literally have to come round and deali with my messy house. Coz I’m largely housebound these days.
It’s a 99% limit because there are *and always have been* white working class people in my chosen fam. (and some of their families pretty expolicity chose/’adopted me)
We share and connect on many of these lines in ways.
And coz I have rarely found absolutism to be a useful/positive force/ i need pluralism and options.