Category Archives: bisexual

BiCon lets us down again. Part 2

 

Image of a member of the Philippine Bisexual Group BiSides

BiCon Racism Part 2:

Introduction by Jacq
Since posting our previous entry, one of the authors, and Bi’s of Colour as a whole have received threats. If this is what happens when we critique a white bisexual institution, and speak openly about our experiences, then white bisexual people haven’t learned a thing.

By Nila K

One last thing about this latest bout of violent BiCon racism.

I can fight it. we all can. if you didn’t break us in ten years, and by God you tried, then you’re not gonna break us now. ANd that includes those of you who get it now.

Do you think that the ignorance of those we thought were community was less devastating than the outright hate? You’re wrong.  Dr King wrote about this in 1963.

thing is, RIGHT NOW THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE LAST THING ANY OF US NEED.

We’re finding our places in the Uprising. We’re navigating COVID and extra police powers. We’re dealing with Toryhell. whatever the latest posh yt ‘feminist’ transphobia is . The DWP. The Home Office. etc. etc.

D’ya not think we’ve got enough to get on with?

and yet, you think now is the ideal time to push us through this tedious racist violent bullshit again.

You’re gonna realise one day, how patient we all were.

But probably only after I stop being patient. And tell it like it is. And set you all on fire. I’m holding my Firey Mother back right now. I’m not gonna do it for long.

And if this sounds like a threat? It should.

Taking a lot of inspiration from Brother Malcolm right now. As I have since I was 14.

“You can’t separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.

Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery.”

and, always from Kwame Toure

” he only made one fallacious assumption: In order for nonviolence to work, your opponent has to have a conscience.”

We gave you a decade to find your conscience. We’re done waiting.

BiCon lets down People Of Colour. Again…

BA560B86-DB9E-44BF-A6BC-3659F6C44B8B

Collaborative Post:

we have had to remove details of one of the authors because they have recieved abusive emails. We stand by all our writers/our critical Bis of Colour family.  If you want to support J, a marginal activist, in their work, you can make donations to the bis of colour PayPal. Please mark your donation ‘for J’ so we know to pass it on,

 

First section by J who says

BiCon is paying bi people of colour to speak at this year’s virtual BiCon.

I don’t recommend anybody work with them – they’ve fucked bi people of colour over in systemic racist ways every year since I’ve known the event (that’s a full fucking decade now). They’ve even managed to fauxpology their statement about fucking up: referring to bi people of colour as “that community” rather than recognising bi people of colour as part of the bi community, and phrasing what has happened previously as the event “not felt welcoming” is just about as useful a statement as “I’m sorry you felt that way” – their actions have not been welcoming, its not about hurting individual feelings.
They invited the Home Office agents to have stands at their events, cops in uniform were allowed to attend sessions, one of last year’s organisers went on an antisemitic screed before the event that (despite me making a formal complaint about it) was never handled despite promises from other organisers, and they’ve consistently not handled huge numbers of racist incidents between attendees, and they still allow white people to run sessions that are entirely culturally appropriative.

But I’m not the boss of any of you – if you want to work with them and you’re a person of colour, they’ll pay you. Just know that they’re doing it so they can prove their liberal wokeness, their diversity and that bi people of colour have forgiven them for (at least) the last ten years of racism. They will use you, but if you need to work and they’re an option you can work with then go into it with your eyes open.

“Funding for speakers
We are aware that BiCon has not always felt welcoming to Bisexuals of Colour and would like to take a step towards making things better for the future. We have managed to secure some funding to pay for speakers from that community who would be willing to contribute to the programme. Please contact Sessions20@bicon.org.uk if this would be of interest to you. We understand that many Bisexuals of Colour will not be on our mailing list so if you know anyone who might be interested please let them know.”

 some context from Nila K

 

Nila K:

1. infopoint: it’s now TEN YEARS since J and I made loads of critiques, complaints and were assured ‘this is a priority now’. We tried every ‘reasonable’ route and were ignored, shut down, harassed, and the level of emotional/intellectual violence was off the fucking chain.

Don’t tell us to be fucking ‘patient’.

*huge eyeroll*

2. the fact that they will only express it as ‘bicon has felt unwelcoming to bi BIPOC’ = an indicator of what anyone doing this work is in for.

It needs to say ‘bicon has been structrually racist and still is’.

They’re not even ready to have *that* conversation.

3. . I first went 17 years ago. Any ‘progress’ in that time has been forced by the blood, sweat and tears of BIPoC Bi’s.

 

 

And from Jacq:

“BiCon used to mean a lot to me.  For one weekend a year I felt like I wasn’t a minority in a minority. But the racism that kept on happening quickly wore down anything positive I felt.  In the end it wasn’t even the racism that made me decide to never attend BiCon again. One of organisers in 2016 made nonbinary ‘jokes’ as part of the night’s entertainment.  Several people complained, but he was still allowed to run the entertainment on the following night, when he proceeded to make child abuse ‘jokes’.  The number of survivors of childhood abuse at BiCon is sufficient enough to have a Survivors meeting most years. That one of the organisers thought it was a good idea to do this was mind boggling and deeply upsetting to me and many others who ended up in tears.  The next year this same person was stated to be on the organising committee.  There had been little in the way of apology or action taken to stop this person returning.  All my faith in BiCon was gone for good a that stage.”

 

Black Bisexual Lives Matter

8749C05F-C1EE-409C-A307-D22DA496F4F8

Guest post.

 

I am beyond fucking tired of seeing

“black gay, lesbian, trans lives matter”

“homophobia and transphobia must end” etc

Except… Black Bi people exist and Black bi ppl have some of the worst stats (in UK and US) re life expectancy, dv, homelessness, etc. Have a look at the Bi’s of Colour report for examples of this.

I’ve seen 5 examples this week. I’m close to losing it with a lot of ppl.

And this goes for things that have the rainbow and trans flags on, but no bi flag.

I mean we’ve only been using it for 20 fucking years.

#BlackBILivesMatter

Young Bisexual People & Self Injury Study

D33FFD25-9F21-41DC-A0AA-F856CA2BD83C

Website: SIBL research study http://man.ac.uk/9YjBjj

 

The SIBL research study is looking to examine which psychological factors or processes are associated with non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI) in young bisexual people. The reason we are focussing on young people is because adolescence/young adulthood is a time when this behaviour has been found to particularly emerge.
 
We are looking for people aged 16-25, who identify as bisexual (or attracted to more than one gender), and who have had NSSI thoughts/urges/behaviour in the previous 6 months. We will ask participants to fill out short online surveys once a week for 6 weeks. These surveys take around 10-15 minutes to complete. For every survey a participant does, they have the choice to be entered into a prize draw for that week. There are 6 prize draws, each with a £50 Amazon voucher (total prizes: £300). Participants don’t have to be entered into these draws if they don’t want to. 
 
We also invite people who take part in the online study to complete a 30-40 minute interview with a researcher about their experiences of self-injury, and of the COVID19 crisis and subsequent lockdown. This interview take place over the phone/Skype/Zoom and we will reimburse anyone who takes part in this with a £10 Amazon voucher for their time.
 
If you are interested in finding out more information, then the link to our consent-to-contact form is here: http://man.ac.uk/9YjBjj
 
Please kindly help us to promote this study by retweeting/sharing our information with your networks 🙂

The Bisexual Flag belongs to us all!

Many of you online may have seen recent posts from BiNetUSA regarding the bisexual flag.  BiNetUSA have declared that they own the copyright of the flag, and that they will sue anyone or organisation using it, if they make over a certain amount of money per year.  This has understandably upset many bi+ people.

BiNetUSA claims the flag is theres, but they themselves tweeted this in 2018:

FA23D1D8-D0C8-44E9-BAF6-198C24A7250C

We at Bisexuals of Colour would like to make public that we in no way agree, endorse or support this decision.  We are all sad that BiNetUSA have made this cash-grab, when it isn’t even possible to copyright geometric shapes and flags in general in the U.S  We feel this incident will only add to the myth that Bisexuals are greedy, unreliable and untrustworthy.  We also acknowledge that this will harm Bisexuals who are people of colour, and/or Indigenous, who are some of the most vulnerable out there.   We call on BiNetUSA to apologise for the hurt and fear they have generated as a result of this.  Many small bisexual creators, artists and craftspeople now face an uncertain time (during a flipping pandemic!). Nobody needs this.

Much love and acceptance to all of our bi+ siblings around the world.

6B1134F0-2D83-48E0-A0EF-938F3B91039E

Muslim LGBT+ Pride!

146D54E1-AA82-45E6-8557-51DDB29E373C

Imaan, the Muslim LGBT+ group are holding their first ever festival!  Tickets are on sale now: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/imaanfest-muslim-pride-tickets-90779683477 and include low-cost tickets of Queer Muslims on a low income.  We at Bisexuals of Colour are so pleased this is happening.  LGBT+ Muslims face racism, queerphobia and Islamaphobia inside and outside of Queer communities.  This is the an opportunity for often-alienated LGBT+ Muslims and their supporters to come together and celebrate who they are.  We stand with our Bisexual Muslim friends and siblings!

World AIDS day 2019

 

On #worldaidsday please remember the bisexuals and pansexuals of colour who are demonised as spreaders of sexually transmitted diseases, when the reality is that we face racism and biphobia when trying to access S.T.I help. We experience multiple barriers from medical institutions, from Queer communities and from communities of colour too. It often feels like there are few safer places for us. We shouldn’t have to fight battles on so many fronts. Bi’s of Colour are here for you (link in bio), but we are just one volunteer run group. You can support other bi & pan people of colour by calling out organisations who erase us. You can include us in your events & projects. You can stop being defensive and violent when we demand you stop pushing us under the bus. HIV & AIDS doesnt discriminate. You can do better than a disease.

An open letter to White Middle class BiCon attendees

Pic of member of the Philippine bi group, Both Sides, waving a bisexual flag
An open letter to whiteandmiddle class BIcon* attendees.

*
 
Share wildly, and do not tag, but do credit me: Nila K
 
***
 
*and this means if you go regularly now. But it also means if you don’t go any more because you got to stay for long enough to develop your own community, network, friends, lovers. This is a thing that space is magically good at.
 
but only for the Right Sort.


 
As far as I’m aware none of us Bi+/Pan BIPoC have ever suggested you boycott the event.

I mean, speaking personally, a lot of that is how laughably unlikely it is that me suggesting this would lead to anything except more traumatising grief. The idea that those of you who get to access this space and build networks that sustain you during the year might consider stepping back = nonsensical.


 
But most of it with me and many others – is that we don’t want you to be more marginalised than you are. As fellow (but not peer) bi people, we know what it is to be shat on everywhere else.

Thing is, we know what it is to have that compounded by finding the one place that purports to support you… and to have that shit on you in its turn.


 
Coz, despite what multiple people have said about and to me: I didn’t ‘choose’ to stop coming.

I was forced out by virulent and violent classist racism.

It was a choice between my whole social, emotional, professional, activist world … and myself.

And thank fuck that I chose myself.

But no one should have to make that ‘choice’.


 
***


 
And yet we still don’t talk to you about this, and you still keep choose to support a horrifically exclusionary space and calling it community, family and (LOOL) radical. 


 
So, think on that when you deal with us, eh?

Connections with my skin – A Guest Post

A guest post from N. Gupta

 

I have basically a 99% hard limit re ‘no white people as lovers/play partners/fuckbuddies.

Because I am done showing/sharing my skin and body with people who have no clue what their white skin means.

And no investment in learning *to the level that I need for any encounter to be remotely good/pleaseuable for me*

if im ever gonna have that intimacy again

and tbh it feels unlikely and I go back and forth on how i feel about that

THEN :
i am prirotising black and brown bodies like AND unlike mine:

– trans, gender non conforming, bi, crip, mad, working/mixed class, immigrant bodies, goddess/magic/witchy bodies.

Bodies that contain multitudes and borders.

Bodies that get stopped and searched at borders and on the street.

***

Me, reading this back. OH. Right. Yes!

with endless thanks to Rhizome Syndrigast Coelacanth Flourishing whose writing and making and thinking and feeling and re-imagining have been so inmportant to me in last couple years  Love and solidarty to u, mate xx

It’s a 99% limit because someone being BIPoC doesn’t guarantee a connection. or that they won’t be shit to me, or me to them.

I donn’t get to ‘disappear’ into that world coz it’s not magically free of transphobic, biphobic, ableist, classist, sanist, capitalist, racist, liberal, faily etc bulllshit.

And if someone is qtibpoc but is that more comfortable hanging on to instead of challenging that stuff, our skin doesn’t make us kin.

And coz if you wanna be my lover .. you literally have to come round and deali with my messy house. Coz I’m largely housebound these days.

It’s a 99% limit because there are *and always have been* white working class people in my chosen fam. (and some of their families pretty expolicity chose/’adopted me)

We share and connect on many of these lines in ways.

And coz I have rarely found absolutism to be a useful/positive force/ i need pluralism and options.

So yeah

Bi Pride 2019

4C758C49-C3BD-406E-9D64-D8284E480B6EEF7A9AA0-EF44-4452-B976-815A7319B5C242DB3CE7-0793-490F-A465-7CF64E65C009999453E4-B2DC-4C00-B27F-D90AD9D77ACDB5A116E7-9A8E-4298-B685-78B6DBE7C0A1

0E5E7F7A-8077-4029-B502-B1768E138E32

I attended the first Bi Pride on 7th September 2019.  I was surprised at the turnout – it felt like hundreds of people were there!  I was also pleasantly surprised at being at the most diverse mainstream* bisexual event EVER.

I spoke on the Mental Health and Bisexuality panel, about the problems with long waiting times, how NHS mental health services are awful and putting bi and trans people in danger.  I also spoke up as an audience member during the session on Bi Community.  I raised the point of the barriers to building bi communities, when so many meet-ups and events were held in pubs, which are often unfriendly to visibly queer, POC, those who wear religious clothing, and/or gender non-conforming clothes.  These places are also often inaccessible to those with mobility issues.

Overall I was impressed at how professional the event was – the scale of things to do, and the community marketplace.  Also the Sensory relaxation room was small but it was AMAZING!

*mainstream, as in the event was not for bi people of colour only