A guest post from N. Gupta
I have basically a 99% hard limit re ‘no white people as lovers/play partners/fuckbuddies.
Because I am done showing/sharing my skin and body with people who have no clue what their white skin means.
And no investment in learning *to the level that I need for any encounter to be remotely good/pleaseuable for me*
if im ever gonna have that intimacy again
and tbh it feels unlikely and I go back and forth on how i feel about that
i am prirotising black and brown bodies like AND unlike mine:
– trans, gender non conforming, bi, crip, mad, working/mixed class, immigrant bodies, goddess/magic/witchy bodies.
Bodies that contain multitudes and borders.
Bodies that get stopped and searched at borders and on the street.
Me, reading this back. OH. Right. Yes!
with endless thanks to Rhizome Syndrigast Coelacanth Flourishing whose writing and making and thinking and feeling and re-imagining have been so inmportant to me in last couple years Love and solidarty to u, mate xx
It’s a 99% limit because someone being BIPoC doesn’t guarantee a connection. or that they won’t be shit to me, or me to them.
I donn’t get to ‘disappear’ into that world coz it’s not magically free of transphobic, biphobic, ableist, classist, sanist, capitalist, racist, liberal, faily etc bulllshit.
And if someone is qtibpoc but is that more comfortable hanging on to instead of challenging that stuff, our skin doesn’t make us kin.
And coz if you wanna be my lover .. you literally have to come round and deali with my messy house. Coz I’m largely housebound these days.
It’s a 99% limit because there are *and always have been* white working class people in my chosen fam. (and some of their families pretty expolicity chose/’adopted me)
We share and connect on many of these lines in ways.
And coz I have rarely found absolutism to be a useful/positive force/ i need pluralism and options.
I attended the first Bi Pride on 7th September 2019. I was surprised at the turnout – it felt like hundreds of people were there! I was also pleasantly surprised at being at the most diverse mainstream* bisexual event EVER.
I spoke on the Mental Health and Bisexuality panel, about the problems with long waiting times, how NHS mental health services are awful and putting bi and trans people in danger. I also spoke up as an audience member during the session on Bi Community. I raised the point of the barriers to building bi communities, when so many meet-ups and events were held in pubs, which are often unfriendly to visibly queer, POC, those who wear religious clothing, and/or gender non-conforming clothes. These places are also often inaccessible to those with mobility issues.
Overall I was impressed at how professional the event was – the scale of things to do, and the community marketplace. Also the Sensory relaxation room was small but it was AMAZING!
*mainstream, as in the event was not for bi people of colour only
Bi Pride takes place on Saturday 7th September. All the details including the programme is up on their site: Bi Pride 2019. Bi’s of Colour will be there speaking on a panel about Mental Health in the bisexual communities. We will also have copies of our report, and copies of our zine, The A-Z of Biphobia, and how to fight back!
I wrote this short piece for Independent Voices 2 days before Black Pride. I’ve been going to Black Pride for years, and while it isn’t perfect, it’s a hell of a lot better than most other Prides I’ve attended. I hope you enjoy the article, and please remember…
Don’t read the comments!
Sorry for this being posted so late!
If you were to look at most photos from any Pride celebration, you’d think there were zero bisexual people in attendance. Biphobia from lesbians, gays and straights often mean they’ll snap pics constantly, but suddenly put their cameras down when they see a bisexual group or stall. See for yourself by doing an internet search of your local Pride parade – see if you can spot any bisexuals at all!
Well Bi’s of Colour were at Black Pride this year, and we had a great time. We had many bisexuals and pansexuals come by the stall and make the most of our resources. We had lots of fun chats too, and most surprisingly, we only had 2 biphobic WANKERS make nasty comments. That’s the lowest number yet, but it shouldn’t happen at all. So please enjoy these pics which Jacq took of the event. And call out biphobia whenever you see it!
We at Bi’s of Colour have known Andre for years, and have been impressed with his activism, his positivity, and his ability to keep going with a smile on his face. We are all proud to have Andre as our first ever Bisexual of the Year!