Tag Archives: queer

An open letter to White Middle class BiCon attendees

Pic of member of the Philippine bi group, Both Sides, waving a bisexual flag
An open letter to whiteandmiddle class BIcon* attendees.

*
 
Share wildly, and do not tag, but do credit me: Nila K
 
***
 
*and this means if you go regularly now. But it also means if you don’t go any more because you got to stay for long enough to develop your own community, network, friends, lovers. This is a thing that space is magically good at.
 
but only for the Right Sort.


 
As far as I’m aware none of us Bi+/Pan BIPoC have ever suggested you boycott the event.

I mean, speaking personally, a lot of that is how laughably unlikely it is that me suggesting this would lead to anything except more traumatising grief. The idea that those of you who get to access this space and build networks that sustain you during the year might consider stepping back = nonsensical.


 
But most of it with me and many others – is that we don’t want you to be more marginalised than you are. As fellow (but not peer) bi people, we know what it is to be shat on everywhere else.

Thing is, we know what it is to have that compounded by finding the one place that purports to support you… and to have that shit on you in its turn.


 
Coz, despite what multiple people have said about and to me: I didn’t ‘choose’ to stop coming.

I was forced out by virulent and violent classist racism.

It was a choice between my whole social, emotional, professional, activist world … and myself.

And thank fuck that I chose myself.

But no one should have to make that ‘choice’.


 
***


 
And yet we still don’t talk to you about this, and you still keep choose to support a horrifically exclusionary space and calling it community, family and (LOOL) radical. 


 
So, think on that when you deal with us, eh?

Connections with my skin – A Guest Post

A guest post from N. Gupta

 

I have basically a 99% hard limit re ‘no white people as lovers/play partners/fuckbuddies.

Because I am done showing/sharing my skin and body with people who have no clue what their white skin means.

And no investment in learning *to the level that I need for any encounter to be remotely good/pleaseuable for me*

if im ever gonna have that intimacy again

and tbh it feels unlikely and I go back and forth on how i feel about that

THEN :
i am prirotising black and brown bodies like AND unlike mine:

– trans, gender non conforming, bi, crip, mad, working/mixed class, immigrant bodies, goddess/magic/witchy bodies.

Bodies that contain multitudes and borders.

Bodies that get stopped and searched at borders and on the street.

***

Me, reading this back. OH. Right. Yes!

with endless thanks to Rhizome Syndrigast Coelacanth Flourishing whose writing and making and thinking and feeling and re-imagining have been so inmportant to me in last couple years  Love and solidarty to u, mate xx

It’s a 99% limit because someone being BIPoC doesn’t guarantee a connection. or that they won’t be shit to me, or me to them.

I donn’t get to ‘disappear’ into that world coz it’s not magically free of transphobic, biphobic, ableist, classist, sanist, capitalist, racist, liberal, faily etc bulllshit.

And if someone is qtibpoc but is that more comfortable hanging on to instead of challenging that stuff, our skin doesn’t make us kin.

And coz if you wanna be my lover .. you literally have to come round and deali with my messy house. Coz I’m largely housebound these days.

It’s a 99% limit because there are *and always have been* white working class people in my chosen fam. (and some of their families pretty expolicity chose/’adopted me)

We share and connect on many of these lines in ways.

And coz I have rarely found absolutism to be a useful/positive force/ i need pluralism and options.

So yeah

Bi Pride 2019

4C758C49-C3BD-406E-9D64-D8284E480B6EEF7A9AA0-EF44-4452-B976-815A7319B5C242DB3CE7-0793-490F-A465-7CF64E65C009999453E4-B2DC-4C00-B27F-D90AD9D77ACDB5A116E7-9A8E-4298-B685-78B6DBE7C0A1

0E5E7F7A-8077-4029-B502-B1768E138E32

I attended the first Bi Pride on 7th September 2019.  I was surprised at the turnout – it felt like hundreds of people were there!  I was also pleasantly surprised at being at the most diverse mainstream* bisexual event EVER.

I spoke on the Mental Health and Bisexuality panel, about the problems with long waiting times, how NHS mental health services are awful and putting bi and trans people in danger.  I also spoke up as an audience member during the session on Bi Community.  I raised the point of the barriers to building bi communities, when so many meet-ups and events were held in pubs, which are often unfriendly to visibly queer, POC, those who wear religious clothing, and/or gender non-conforming clothes.  These places are also often inaccessible to those with mobility issues.

Overall I was impressed at how professional the event was – the scale of things to do, and the community marketplace.  Also the Sensory relaxation room was small but it was AMAZING!

*mainstream, as in the event was not for bi people of colour only

Bi’s of Colour Bisexual of the Year!

We at Bi’s of Colour have known Andre for years, and have been impressed with his activism, his positivity, and his ability to keep going with a smile on his face.  We are all proud to have Andre as our first ever Bisexual of the Year!

C604184D-05BA-427B-BDD3-6977CE6EC056

My name is André Lawson-Walters, and I’m a proud black bisexual from Wolverhampton, UK. I have been advocating for bisexuality for over five years.
Previously, I have been the Group Facilitator and Lead Campaigner for Brum Bi Group (Birmingham, UK) and the Group Facilitator for Third Way Bi Group (Wolverhampton, UK), both of which are bisexual support and social groups. As well as a being a Volunteer Outreach Worker with Terrence Higgins Trust.
I believe that advocating for bisexuality is crucial because even though roughly half of the LGBTQ+ community identifies as bisexual, we’re seldom represented.  This often leaves many bisexuals to feel invisible and alone. Especially if they are a Person of Colour. Nevertheless, I hope that by being so visible and open about my own bisexuality will help others (especially POC) to embrace their bisexuality.
Twitter: @BlaqueBohemian

Suffering does not build character

This 2017 article in Gal-Dem on self-care, was mostly a positive read, but something really jarred me: the line that read, “The oppression that we face builds character.”

NOPE

The oppression we face as bisexual people of colour, builds the likelihood of mental distress, anxiety, alienation and depression.  It is no wonder that bisexuals of all ethnicities are more likely to be suicidal, self-harm and/or abuse alcohol, cigarettes and drugs more than either straight or gay and lesbian people. (Source: The Bisexuality Report, Open University, 2012).  Add to that the racism bisexuals of colour face on top of all of this from white members of the LGBT+ and straight communities, and it’s not a recipe for building character at all (Source: Bi’s of Colour report, 2015)

The myth that suffering builds resilience is common, especially when aimed at women and femmes of colour.  Sure we have to go through many things that others don’t, but it wears us down in a way that’s terrible and often invisible.  What is worse, we are expected to see it as part of our daily lives.  The world is a cruel place for bisexuals of colour.  Don’t make it harder by putting the expectation of suffering on our shoulders as well.